5 Years Later

I was going to start out this special post with a confession. The kind of confession that one might make while sitting in chair set up in a community center room or the basement of a church. One that's made to total strangers who are there because they too have the same problems you do. But I've decided against that. 

While there's something very healthy about that kind of honest admittance of who you are this type of public forum is not the place for it.  

Instead I'm going to make this a very positive "looking forward" type post. So let's get started. 

On July 8, 2009, 5 years ago today, I experienced the most recent defining moment of my life. I had gastric bypass surgery. This changed my life and my body forever. 

I did lose the weight I so desperately needed to lose over the first 14 months following my surgery. On our trip to Walt Disney World for my 50th birthday in September 2010 both Paula and I were as healthy as we had been in our adult life. 

However the surgery was not a "magic pill" that transformed me into a health and fitness fanatic. Contrary to the uninformed view of many people the surgery was not the "easy way out." Being addicted to food is about a lot more than biology.

Over the last 3 years I have fallen back into my gluttonous habits. Reacting to stress and emotions by stuffing my face. The consequences for that behavior has been regaining about half of the weight I lost after surgery. 

I am still fighting what has been up to now, for the most part, a losing "battle of the bulge". It is the most difficult thing I face on a daily basis. 

I have had some victories. Earlier this year I wrote about losing 15 pounds over the first two months. But I have not been able to sustain any consistent effort to eat right and exercise. Those 15 came back and brought a couple friends. 

A little over 6 months after making them I've got to admit to myself that the goals of returning to Dollywood to ride the Wild Eagle coaster on my birthday and fitting into my smallest pair of jeans by Christmas may not be realized. At least not in the time frame I had originally anticipated. But they are still on my personal "to do" list.    

Needless to say, on this 5th anniversary of my surgery I am not as physically healthy as I hoped I'd be at the time I underwent the major operation. 

But I am better off now than I was before I had the surgery. That's a good thing. 

So I'm going to use this anniversary of my Roux-N-Y (the official name for my operation) surgery as a new starting point toward achieving my the goals just like I did 5 years ago. 

However my goals now are a little more realistic than they were in July 2009. I understand that I will never be able to get down to the 150 pound mark that my surgeon had set for me at the time of my operation.

I have a goal that is reachable with some concentrated effort and determination. It is a goal that makes sense for me. 

I have also have adopted a philosophy that will help me handle my addiction to food better. Just because its there doesn't mean I have to eat it. Sounds a little simplistic but there's a lot more behind it than just those words. The mindset that goes with that sentence is going to be my guide from now on.  

I know I haven't really said much in these few lines. But I think I have pretty much explained what this day means to me. 

I'm not looking back at my "failures". I'm stepping out into my future success. I can't do this alone and I will look to support from God, my family, friends and you, my blog readers. 

Please pray for me as I could use all the help I can get. I know I've written posts like this before and I have yet to reach my goals. But life is full of second chances; for me it's probably my "millionth" chance. 

But as I read and hear all the time: you never really fail until you give up. I'm not giving up. I'm going for it again. This time I'm going to make it.  

I am determined that the next time "July 8" comes around I will be able to look back at my decision to have gastric by pass surgery as one of the best things I've done in my life.