Today is the 40th birthday of Melissa Margaret Havens, my niece. Here are a couple of the most “flattering” pictures I have of her.
The first is her 1st grade school picture (age 6). I don't know how old she is in the 2nd one. I'd appreciate it if someone could let me know.
To me, Melissa reaching this significant milestone in her life means I’ve been an uncle for quite a long time. As I mentioned a couple of days ago I’ve always felt I’m pretty good at being an uncle.
Among my nieces and nephew, Melissa and Marci are the two I spent the most time with as they were growing up. I took them to see nearly every kid’s movie that came to the theater from the time they were two until they were teenagers. Most of them were Disney films. That could explain why Melissa to this day is a real fan of the Disney and has an extensive collection of Disney movies.
Back then I felt that taking his nieces the movies is something an uncle does. I guess the reason this was because when I was 4, my uncle who is also Melissa’s dad, Gene, took me to see Mary Poppins. It is the first movie I remember seeing in the theater.
(For those who don’ how it’s possible that my uncle can be my niece’s father and my brother-in-law just accept it for now and I promise to explain it some other time)
One of the other unique things I liked to do with Melissa and Marci was let them pick out their own birthday presents.
On a Saturday morning around each of their birthdays (August for Marci and December for Melissa) I would pick them up around lunch time. I would take them to McDonalds’ for lunch. We then went to the toy store. I told the birthday girl she had a certain amount of money to spend on something she wanted. The “unbirthday” girl got to pick out something too but with a little less to spend. There was one special birthday shopping trip that the 3 of us talk about this day.
This was in the early 80’s so the commercial development boom in the Easton and Phillipsburg area had not even started yet. The nearest major toy store was 30 minutes away in Allentown, Pennsylvania. So the girls and I drove up route 22 to get to the Kiddie City toy store on MacArthur Road. As I remember it now I believe we were celebrating Marci’s birthday on this particular outing.
The girls had a good time looking around for their toys. I don’t remember what Marci picked out as her present but I do remember she was very happy with it. Melissa’s choice was a small brown stuffed monkey.
As we got in the car to head home the two sisters were holding their respective choices in their laps playing with them.
Melissa asked for my suggestions for the monkey’s name. My response was the name “Oscar”. Here’s the reason behind that suggestion.
You see at the time of this story the popular TV comedy, The Odd Couple, starring Tony Randall and Jack Klugman, was showing in reruns every night at 11PM on station WPIX out of New York. I watched it every night.
The Friday night before the birthday outing I had watched an episode called “Felix The Calypso Singer”. The episode’s plot is typical for that series and extremely simple compared to the “outrageous” sitcoms of today.
Within that episode, Felix, sings a calypso song about his friend Oscar. Because watching a clip of this episode would help you understand the story better I invite you do so using this link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stKhc6Kdm40
I followed up my suggestion to my niece by singing this song adapted so that it was about the stuffed monkey. “Once there was a monkey named Oscar. Oscar, Oscar, Oscar.”
I think I added a couple of improvised verses as well. The girls were so impressed that I had made up a song about the cute little monkey that we ended up singing the rest of the way home and for quite a while after that.
As I said to this day when my nieces and I are together one or the other of them mentions the monkey name Oscar. I believe the last time we talked about him Melissa told me that she still has him somewhere in her room.
So every once in a while when I watch some Odd Couple shows on DVD that episode always makes me think of my first born niece. Just like the song “Rainbow Connection” reminds me of her sister Marci. But that’s another story for another day.
So on the 40th anniversary of the night my mom and dad were at the hospital awaiting the arrival of their first grandchild and I was at home being forced to sit at the table and do my homework by a family friend who was watching me and Shari; I would like to say “Happy Birthday Melissa.”
I know the story I just wrote happened really a long time ago but it’s one of my favorite memories of you.
I can’t conclude this post without letting everyone know how proud I am of the fact that more than 15 years ago Melissa opened her heart and her life to take in a little boy who needed someone to care for him.
That little boy has grown into a fine young man who is my nephew, Bo. As a single parent Melissa has loved him unconditionally through the good times and the difficult ones.
I am extremely proud of my niece for her selflessness over the years. She’s a good mother to her son and that’s something that’s important no matter what age you happen to be.
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