Tale of Two Courses

Haven't posted in a while so I thought I'd let you in on a most interesting development that happened to me today.

A few days ago in my February 8th post, that announced my plans to make a return trip to Walt Disney World in 4 years, I mentioned my plans to go to the International Puppet Festival which takes place near Chicago the first full week of July. It's an opportunity to spend a couple of days with some fellow Christian ventriloquists and those interested in puppet ministry as well as getting some training for improving my craft. Those are both very good things.

The festival runs for 5 1/2 days but unfortunately due to limitations on paid time off from work and the cost I would only be going for the last 2 1/2 days. It's a portion of the week referred to by the organizers as "Superfest".

As I calculated the cost (the registration fee for the festival, gas, lodging, food, spending money ect) I began to realize that it was going to be a rather sizable amount; close to $500. I wasn't sure if that was something I should do. I began to think about the last time I went in 2008. I reviewed in my mind the things I did, the people I met, and the effect it had on my life and my ministry.

Since the festival is for the most part a "Youth camp" type event for church groups who have a creative arts ministry (puppet, mime or interpretive dance ect.) and I was by myself and a late arrival (I only went for Superfest) I was pretty much a stranger among the participants. I remember feeling lonely most of the time I was there. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the classes but the fellowship I was looking. I really didn't make any friendships that lasted beyond the time I was there.

Anyway I began to ask myself if I was being selfish about wanting to go. You know, just wanting to be able to say I went. I know I wrote that I felt that God was leading me to go but after reconsidering the cost versus the return and or benefit I wasn't too sure that going would be an act of good stewardship.

But I also considered that my initial inclination that I was being led to go was still correct. Was I was limiting the possibility of God doing something in my life through the festival by my lack of faith based on past experience and potential personal discomfort? In effect I was feeling God moving me in the direction of going but was didn't believe He would do anything for my benefit while there. I was doubting God.

After some prayerful consideration I concluded that the "act of poor stewardship" argument was the right one. I decided that I was not going to go to "I-Fest".

Having made that decision I decided to take an alternative avenue to getting more education in ventriloquism. I ordered a ventriloquism course from the Maher school of ventriloquism (cost $80). This is a renowned course that has been around for years and has helped a lot of successful ventriloquists at the start of their careers. I've wanted to order it for a couple of years but just never "pulled the trigger" on it. So now it's ordered and I'm about $400 ahead of the game right?

After I ordered the Maher course I called the Super 8 hotel where I had already made reservations for 2 nights during the festival. Last time I went I had to find a hotel over 30 minutes away from the college campus where they held the festival because I waited too long to make lodging arrangements.

When I called the hotel to cancel the reservation I was told that I couldn't. The reason for this was because when I made the reservation online I did so at the "buy it now and save" type plan. The room charges have already been charged to my credit card and are not refundable. That was at a cost of over $110. So I quickly realized that if I don't go to I-Fest that money will be a total loss.

I prayed about it and had a change of heart again. Perhaps God really does want me to go because He has something special for me. Now I haven't gotten a direct confirming or denial "message" from God about this and it may be just me being uncertain again. It may be a big assumption on my part but at this point I have nothing to lose by going.

Once again, I am still going to I-fest in Chicago in July. I've even made plans to go to a Chicago White Sox game while I'm there. In addition the Maher course is coming my way.

So there you have the tale of my two courses. The ventriloquism course and the interesting course of how I became totally committed to going the International Festival of Christian Puppet Ministry and Ventriloquism.

It's still close to 20 weeks away but it's on my calendar. I've made my decision and I'm going. From now until then my constant prayer regarding my plans is going to be for God to work in my life and my heart to prepare me to expect something good to happen. Included in that prayer will also be a plea for Him to work on the condition of my faith so that I will believe that He's capable of doing amazing things even in situations where I haven't seen it before or don't think think He can or will.

Even if nothing does come out of going to I-Fest I want this situation to help me have stronger faith and in the future be able to have enough trust in Christ to believe that His sovereignty is sufficient for my life. Does that make sense?