The Battle of "Needs" VS "Wants"

One of the things I learned while taking the Crown Financial Bible study course last year was the importance of discerning the differences between "needs" and "wants" in my life and prioritizing them. It was an easy concept to learn intellectually but putting it into practice is still a "work in progress". Self discipline is the agent by which the principal is implemented. I'm not a very disciplined person in a lot of areas of my life. I have been asking God through the Holy Spirit to give me the strength to be as disciplined as I need to be.

The reason I have brought up the "needs" vs "wants" thing a year after first learning it is that it is still an on going battle in my life. Over the last 3 days I have found myself with a spirit of ingratitude for the needs God has met in my life. The circumstances in which they are being met doesn't allow me to have some of my "wants." The "needs" I'm talking about are those fulfilled by once again having a job to go every day. The financial security and all the assurances and intangibles that go with having a job are a blessing, especially in these tough economic times. I truly am thankful to The Lord for giving me a job that , while not a perfect fit, works for me in so many ways.

However there are certain circumstances of my job (working 2nd shift hours and weekends) that won't allow me to do some of the things I want to which are happening over the next week or so. I won't be able to audition for the job as the public address announcer for the minor league baseball team coming to town because I have to work at the time of the auditions. Being a baseball announcer has been a dream of mine for a long time. I know I could never be a sportscaster but I've always felt I could do the job of the stadium PA announcer. Now that the chance has come along I'm not able to take advantage of it. Even if I could audition I wouldn't be able to take the job. The games are played during the hours I would have to be at my ShopNBC job.

Today I received a brochure in the mail for the Vent Haven ventriloquism convention happening in July. This 4 day event is a wonderful opportunity for learning about ventriloquism and improving my skills. Because the Christian puppet festival I went to last year has been cancelled for this year; I would really like to go to the Vent Haven Convention. But because I don't have won't have any personal or vacation time allowing me to take time off from my job during the first year I won't be able to go.

Not being able to take advantage of these opportunities, like I "want" to, creates an attitude of disdain for the obligation I have toward my job. What that translates into is a rebellious heart in regard to God and His sovereignty over my life. He has not allowed circumstances in my life that enables me to audition or go to the convention. That means one of two things: They are not part of God's will for me or he doesn't want them to happen now. I should accept the circumstances God has created in my life and, at the very least, be thankful that He has seen to my most important need in my life; a job.

What I'm trying to say is that sometimes what we want for ourselves is not what God wants for us and vice versa. I must continue to acknowledge that God Loves me and is in complete control of what happens in my life. As His child purchased by Christ through His death on the cross I must submit myself to His Lordship over my life.

The state of "want" is probably one of the, if not THE, most powerful aspect of my sinful nature. If I want something badly enough, and I don't control that desire, I will devote my time, money and effort toward getting it. My obsessive desire with going back to Disney World a couple of years ago was evidence of that.

Some of the strongest forces in us as humans have their foundation in "want"; overeating, lust and greed are the ones that immediately come to mind. But there's one important thing I must remember as part of my faith and belief that God is in sovereign control of my life. If there is something in my life that God wants me to do,, be, or somewhere he wants me to go He will provide the means to openly and honestly achieve it. And this without compromising the principles of righteousness he's established in His word.

In other words God will always open the way for the achievement of His will in my life. Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by my own selfish "wants" and I forget that. My prayer to the Holy Spirit is that He will keep showing me the truth of this in my life and keep my mind and heart close to it. So that even in a moment or period of sinful selfishness I can quickly bring myself back to the truth of God's Love and control over my life; thus reconnecting with the standing of my faith in Christ.