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Introducing My What Nots

Unless you’ve been living under a rock you may have noticed that the Muppets are everywhere these days. I’ve seen them on everything from Good Morning America to WWE’s Monday Night Raw. The Disney Company (who owns the Muppets) has the great publicity blitz running on full speed.

This is a wonderful thing for someone who is as much of a Muppet fan as I am. Believe it or not there are a lot of us out there. There’s websites and even an I-Tunes podcast devoted to all things that have to do with Jim Henson’s creations.

Muppet merchandise has also come back to the shelves of major retail and toy stores; among them FAO Schwartz. The toy store most famous for the piano scene in the Tom Hanks movie
Big has an exclusive department called the “What Not Workshop.” It’s the Muppet version of a “build a bear”.

What’s a “What Not?” you ask. Well it’s that special group of Muppets whose eye, nose, ears and hair can be changed to create any character that’s needed. At FAO Schwartz, you can choose from a variety of body parts and clothes to build your own What Not Muppet.

Ever since they were first introduced as the “Anything People” on Sesame Street in the late 60’s I’ve wanted a What Not of my own. I was excited when I heard about this What Not workshop and then found out that you can create and order one a What Not from the toy store’s website. But I was taken back a bit when I found out that the price of this custom made Muppet is a bit steep ($100).

Then I heard some good news on “Inside The Magic” Disney podcast a couple of weeks ago. In a cooperative marketing effort with FAO Schwartz, ToysRUS had begun carrying a line of FAO products.

One day after work I went by the newly renovated toy store in Bowling Green to try and find out if they had the FAO Schwartz products. I planned on asking one of the employees where I could find them. As soon as I walked in the door I was in the middle of the special display of the limited edition products.

Among them were special editions puppets of the top Muppets characters; Kermit, Fozzie Bear, Animal, and Beaker. Also there was a pair of limited edition What Not characters. One was blue and one was orange. They each were in their own see through plastic carrying case and had their own exclusive set of accessories. The clothing offered at the workshop in New York was available separately. The price of the What Not kits and the clothing was still a bit expensive but relatively cheaper compared to the “in-store” price in New York.

When I saw the What-Not kits my heart literally skipped a beat. While this might be considered a bit dangerous for someone over 50 it wasn’t for me. I hadn’t felt this type of excitement about a Muppet since I first saw the Ernie puppet in a store when I was 10 years old. I wrote a post about my Ernie puppet back on November 18, 2009.

As I said when I saw the What Not puppets I got the same excitement in the pit of my stomach as I did that day in autumn day in1970.
I left the store with one of the What Nots (the blue one) and a suit with a plaid jacket and a solid tie to dress it in.

That night I opened it and could not believe how great it was. A new kind of excitement took over. For some time now I have been putting together in my mind a list of specific ventriloquist characters for specific situations. That list includes: A game show host, a laboratory scientist, and an infomercial pitchman to name a few.

Up until I made my latest puppet purchase I thought if I wanted to ever use those characters, I would have to purchase a customized ventriloquist puppet for each of them. But upon opening the package and discovering all the kit contained I realized the What Not puppet and it’s variety of accessories would be able allow me to create a lot of those characters with just one puppet.
I also realized that I needed (or would the right work be “wanted”) both of the What Nots to take advantage of their potential. The next day I returned to ToysRUS and brought home the 2nd What Not.

That was about 2 weeks ago. This past Sunday my first What Not puppet, the blue one, made his public debut during the children’s sermon portion of our church worship service. I’ve named him Henson B. Anything after the Muppets creator, Jim Henson. The “Anything” part of the name is taken from the previously mentioned anything people from Sesame Street.

The children’s sermon, which was about the different members of the church body and based on the scripture 1st Corinthians 12:12-20 went well. The children really liked Henson and laughed at his jokes.

Below is a picture of me with Henson B. Anything and the, yet to be named, other What Not. I’m the one in the middle.

I’m genuinely optimistic about the potential for using the What Nots in my ventriloquist ministry and children’s church. I have a plethora of ideas about new characters, new accessories, sketch possibilities and more. The skies the limit for me and the What Nots.

My License Plate Project

After more than 4 years of working on a personal project I can proudly say that as of this past Monday I’m 98% finished and that’s probably as far as I’ll get. Let me explain.

On Wednesday August 15, 2007 while driving to work on Interstate 65 I noticed license plates from several different states on the cars driving along with me. Of course there were plates from Kentucky, Tennessee, as well as other nearby states; Indiana, Alabama, and Georgia. I also saw Michigan and Massachusetts.

 Seeing this many different state license plates brought back a memory of my Dad. He always seemed to be preoccupied with noticing different license plates any time we drove somewhere as a family. While I don’t ever specifically remember him saying it I believe that he always wanted to be able to say he had seen plates from all 50 states.

Having seen 16% of them that day, I decided to see how long it would take for me to reach my father’s goal. I went home and made a list of the 50 states and made a column next to them so I could mark down the dates I would see them.

At the time James was at boot camp for the Kentucky National Guard down in Columbus, Georgia. Later in August we drove south to Fort Benning for family visitation weekend. On that trip I saw quite a few more state license plates, most of them in the parking lots on the base.

By the time we got back from the 2nd trip to Georgia where James graduated from his training, I had seen 43 different state license plates and it was only the first week of October. I was accomplishing my project goal a lot quicker than I ever thought I would.

I didn’t keep a specific record of where I saw the license plates, just the dates. After October 4, 2007 when I saw the Vermont plate my 43rd state in 7 weeks there would be a long gap in my plate spotting events.

Eighteen months later, March 2009, I saw New Mexico; the only new plate I would see that year. In 2010 between February and July I passed cars with South Dakota, New Hampshire, Delaware, and Wyoming displayed on their rear bumpers.

My project count was at 48. At that time I thought I had come to an end of my effort because the remaining 2 states were: North Dakota and Hawaii. Without actually traveling to both of those states I couldn’t imagine ever seeing either of these plates.

I knew that someday seeing state #49 on my list, North Dakota was not out of the realm of possibility, especially when I spotted Wyoming (a state much farther away) on my trip to Milwaukee in July of last year. Ironically the 50th state of the union, Hawaii, represented the 50th and final state in my project.

Recently, when Paula and I took our 2-day getaway to the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee I got a pleasant and totally unexpected surprise. While taking pictures of the surrounding mountains from a parking lot as we stood atop the hills above Gatlinburg (we were enjoying the elevated tourist attraction called “Ober Gatlinburg” ) I happened to look down and see the back of a sedan with a North Dakota license plate.

It had been so long since I’d even looked at my list of states I wasn’t even totally sure that I should be excited about the find. Did I need North or South Dakota? My list was in the visor of my Saturn Vue, which was at home in my driveway in Kentucky. I’d have to check when I got back. Sure enough I had seen the 49th plate.

While the beginning of my US license plate project came from a memory of my dad. The place I was on my list after seeing Wyoming in July 2010, the 48th state crossed off my project list, brought back a memory of my mom.

For as long as I can remember mom’s dream vacation destination was Hawaii. She often talked about going there. But there was only one problem. Mom was always scared of the idea of flying and vowed that you would have to knock her out to ever get her on a plane. So when someone would talk to her about the possibility of ever going to Hawaii she would say, “I’ll go just as soon as they finish building the bridge”.

In the context of my plate project, once again, the completion of a bridge to the Aloha State comes into play. It would be about the only way I would ever get to see a Hawaiian license plate here in on the continental US. 

I feel pretty good about getting to the place I am in my “see all the states’ license plates” project. As I mentioned earlier, up until it became the last one on my list I hadn’t ever considered the possibilities of ever seeing a Hawaii plate.

However something that has happened in the “world of Disney” has helped me to realize that it just might be possible to complete my list.

In September the Aulani Disney Vacation Club resort opened in Ko Olina, Hawaii. There was a lot of discussion and information presented in Disney related podcasts I listen to (For those of you who don’t know that’s about 6-10, depending on the week). Among the aspects of this new Disney vacation frontier that were discussed was this.

For people on the west coast, specifically California, vacationing in Hawaii is the equivalent of someone from the east coast going to the Caribbean or Puerto Rico. It’s not that common a destination. It’s relatively close.

Knowing that leads me to believe that perhaps there’s a possibility that it might be rather common for people to move from Hawaii to California since its closest location in the continental U.S.

Of course seeing a Hawaiian license plate on a car in California would require me to go to there. So perhaps a trip to Los Angeles to take in a Dodger game or Anaheim to see the Angels play, or (of course the mother of all reasons to go to the left coast) a visit to Disneyland is in my future.

Before I make my travel plans it might be a good idea to find out if my friend, Mary, who lives in California, has ever seen a Hawaiian license plate on a California highway. At least then I’ll know it’s possible.

So now, for the 2nd or 3rd time I am putting my License Plate Project list away with one last possibility of getting it out again someday.
But before I do I’ll take one last look at the alphabetical list of the states and see “seen” dates next to all but one of them Then I can say “Hey Dad, 49 out of 50…not bad.”

Weird Al At The Rymon

I ended the month of September with a terrific night in Nashville. On the last night of the month Paula and I took my son, Michael to the Rymon Auditorium to see Weird Al Yankovic in concert.


It was 25 years ago that I last saw Weird Al live. He was the opening act for the Monkees during their 20th anniversary tour back in 1987. So when Michael asked us for “an early Christmas present” we decided to go along with him. I was excited about seeing Al again.

We got to the Rymon Auditorium about 90 minutes early; parking about a block away. We were at the doors when they opened at 7 o’clock.

We made our way up to the 2nd floor where we could get to our balcony seats. Michael bought himself a “White & Nerdy” hoodie and a tour poster.

We found our seats, which were very good for balcony seats. We quickly discovered that the bench seating left a lot to be desired in regard to comfort and room. It got really crowded and uncomfortable when a couple who bought the 2 seats to Paula’s left came in just before the lights went down.

It was very crowded. Paula had to sit very close to me and I had to put my arm around her to be comfortable. As usually happens when sitting in an arranged seating area at a public venue we settled in a bit over the course of the concert but not very much.

As the audience filed in I noticed that it was a very diverse group. There were people of all ages. I’m talking about from kids under 10 to adults my age or older.

The show started about 20 minutes late and the crowd got rather impatient. They started doing the wave and then began to clap. It reminded me of the beginning of the concert scenes in the Blues Brothers movie.

Now this tour was to promote Al’s new album, Alpocalyse. He performed 7 of its songs. He had a different costume for every song. The time he was off stage changing was filled by a variety of video clips.

They were presented in a “channel surfing” format. Most of the clips were part of a fictional program called “Al TV.” It featured video clips of a wide variety of pop music stars splice together with video of Al asking questions to create a funny interview. It’s a comedy gimmick that is used by Jay Leno on the “Tonight Show” except Al’s bits were a lot funnier than any Leno’s ever done.

The videos also featured clips of Weird Al music videos and clips of real TV shows that refer to Weird Al in one way or another. The shows were both older and newer shows.
Al was mentioned by people ranging from Johnny Carson on the “Tonight Show” to Brad Garrett in the 2010 Fox sitcom, “Til Death”.

The one clip I liked the best was a fake movie trailer. A “bio pic” about Al’s stereotypical Hollywood train wreck career and life. Patton Oswald did a dead on impersonation of Dr. Demento in that trailer.

The video screen was also an active participant in song performances as well. I think Al uses video in a very effective way. It really connects with the generation of fans who grew up with him through MTV (back when the network actually played music videos).

The only problem I had with the concert was the stage lighting. There were a lot of lights aimed toward the audience. One of them on the right side of the stage was aimed right toward us. For the majority of the concert it made it difficult to see and almost impossible to take any good pictures. Now the light wasn’t on all the time but 75% of the time it was. So you had to time it just right to get a decent picture.

The first half of the concert was good but not very entertaining for me. The songs he sang were not my favorite style of music. His opening song was “Polka Face”, a song from the new album. It was a medley of recent pop songs set to a polka beat and played on Al’s accordion. Among the songs was Lady Antebellum’s “I Need You Now”.

After that song he spoke to the crowd for the first of four times during the night. He said the traditional “Hello Nashville!” Then he sang a parody of a Taylor Swift song about the TV entertainment show “TMZ”.

Even though I didn’t really care for the majority of the songs in the first half of the show; the videos and the anticipation of Al’s costume changes was entertaining enough to keep it enjoyable.

At one point in between songs he told the crowd how great it was for him to be at the Rymon Auditorium and how honored he was to be performing in the same place as Hoobastank; an obscure 90s pop music group; totally ignoring the venue’s rich country music heritage.

As I mentioned the audience was a very diverse age group. In addition to connecting with the MTV generation through the use of videos Al reached out to those in the baby boomers through a song called “CNR”. It’s a hyperbolas song about a super human version of Charles Nelson Riley, a flamboyant and very relatively popular actor and game show star in the 1970’s.

There was a song in the middle of the show where Al was dressed as a sleazy lounge singer who used every pick up line and innuendo in the world. He went out into the audience singing to various women in the seats on the auditorium floor. It was funny but we couldn’t see him for most of the song.

As the concert went on Al started doing a combination of some of my favorite “Weird Al” songs and some that I’d never heard before. Still I was familiar with the music so I enjoyed the parodies. The best example of this was a song about Spam to the tune of REM’s “Stand”. One of my favorite songs about one of my favorite foods (yes, I like Spam).

This was a very long concert for just one performer. There was no opening act. Given the many costume changes (the most elaborate was a giant blue peacock) and very physical performances Al must have been exhausted by the end of the night.

At about the 1 hour and 45 minute point of the concert Al went into a medley of a lot of his most popular hits. These included: Lasagna, My Bologna, Eat it, and more.

Before the last song the beginning of the music video his parody of Michael Jackson’s “Fat” was shown on the screen. The song is among my top 5 favorite Weird Al songs. After the video Al came out onto the stage in his “Fat” suit and sang the song

The audience was on their feet as the band left the stage. As is custom at concerts they applauded and cheered until Al came back for an encore.

I turned to Michael and asked him what he thought the encore song would be. He said he didn’t know because Al had done all of his big hits. In my mind there was only one that fit the unwritten criteria for an encore song: It was a fan favorite and hadn’t been performed yet.

When the house lights went down and the stage lights came back up. The crowd quieted down as Darth Vader and 6 Storm Troopers walked onto the stage. Al came out in a Jedi cloak. It was then I knew I was right about my encore prediction. It would be “The Saga Begins”; a parody about the movie “Star Wars: The Phantom Menace”.

The crowd was really into the song. From the first chorus they sang along. The Storm Troopers were funny as they danced along on the fast parts and reacted with choreographed movements to the lyrics.

The applause erupted at the end of the song and there was more to come. The 2nd encore song was Al’s first Star Wars parody “Yoda”, based on the Kink’s hit “Lola.”

At one point he said “you sing” and pointed the microphone toward the audience. All of us sang the chorus. He then said, “now just you” and put the mic in front one audience member standing in front of the stage. I couldn’t see exactly who it was but he or she didn’t sing a word. Al tried a couple of times but the person wouldn’t sing. At that point he said “I guess we have to do the ‘refuse to participate’ chant”.

He and his fellow musicians began an a cappella chant. It’s tough to describe the chant. To me is seemed a little bit out of place. It’s described on Wikipedia as “mainly mnemonic syllables used by Indian tabla players” and also includes: a piece of the classic Hawaiian War Chant, and a few phrases from The Trashmen's "The Bird Is The Word." But my favorite part of the chant was a few lines from “Grim Grinning Ghosts”, a song from Disney’s Haunted Mansion attraction.

After they finished the chant the crowd applauded and then Al finished “Yoda”, said “good night” and left the stage. There was another standing ovation, the lights came up and it was finally time to get up off the hard wooden seats and head for the exits.

There’s an old saying subscribed to by actors in the theater: “dying is easy. Comedy is hard.” Al is very good at comedy. But underneath that silly comedic persona is a talented and hardworking musician/entertainer. Just the physical effort alone, required for his show is worthy of appreciation. But he’s a talented musician; he plays the accordion and guitar, the keyboard and harmonica.

His career “officially” began in 1976 while he was in still in high school, when one of his original songs was played on the Dr. Demento radio show. Now, 35 years later, there’s nothing in the entertainment business that Al Yankovic has not done. He’s a singer, songwriter, producer, screen writer, film director and more.

The fact that he’s still performing after all these years at such a high energetic, fast paced, entertaining level makes Weird Al Yankovic one of the best entertainers I’ve ever seen in concert. He’s also one of the most under appreciated.

As I mentioned to Michael before the concert started; Weird Al is the only one who is having any degree of success with parodies of popular songs these days. Other than short songs used on morning drive radio shows there’s no place parodies are heard anymore. The only other recent successful artist of this genre I can think of is country music comedian Cletus T. Judd. Does anyone remember his last album from 2 years ago? I sure don’t.

Being a fan of comedy songs I appreciate Weird Al being the cultural care taker of the novelty song alive in today’s world. Standing on the shoulders of artists such as Tom Lehrer, Stan Freberg, Alan Sherman, and Ray Stevens, Weird Al is the comedy voice in the pop music wilderness. I don’t know how much longer his journey will go on but I hope it ends at the Rock & Roll Music Hall of Fame. He deserves it.

Found A "Peanut"

When I was a kid between 5 and 10 years old I would often go to the playground and get on the swings with my friends. As we were going back and forth and pumping our legs to get as high as we could we often sang a song called "Found A Peanut". It was to the tune of "My Darlin Clemintine".That song came back to my mind recently when we received some wonderful news.  

At the age of 51 I will finally be entering an phase of life that most of my cousins and friends who are about the same age have already experienced: Being a Grandparent.

In last August my son, James, and daughter-in-law, Brandi told us in confidence that they may be expecting a baby. They asked us to keep the news to ourselves until a visit to the doctor.

Soon Brandi's blood tests came back and all indications confirmed that a baby is on the way. But the kids still wanted to wait to "announce" their news until after Brandi's first ultrasound. That test was done on Wednesday September 7, two days before my 51st birthday.
 
They gave us copies of the pictures from the first ultrasound. Although because of the type of test it was they didn't have the opportunity to hear it, they did see the movement of the baby's heart beat. When Paula showed me the pictures, as always, I had difficulty distinguishing what I was looking at. She had to point the baby out to me. "See" she said,  "she looks like a little peanut." (my wife would really like to have a grand daughter but her intuition is telling her that the baby will be a boy).

Sure enough I did see a small image that was at the time a lot smaller than, but nevertheless, shaped like a peanut. When we mentioned this to James he was quick to point out that at the stage of development at the time the picture was taken (about 6 weeks old) the baby is really only about as big the eraser on the end of a pencil. Nevertheless the word "peanut" had been initially linked to our first grandchild.

Over the next few days I imagined in excited anticipation of all joy the arrival of a baby into our lives will bring us. I thought about the ultrasound picture and Paula's comment. I realized what a fun nickname  "Peanut" would be for an infant. In a daydream I imagined holding a newborn in my arms and singing "Found A Peanut" to him or her. It works for me either way but it would be better if the baby was a girl. But I'm sure we'd find a way to make it work for a baby boy as well.

So after more than 40 years the song "Found A Peanut" has a new meaning for me. It represents the anticipation of discovering a love and a joy that Paula and I have yet to be blessed with in our lives.

Hurry up and get here Peanut. Your grandparents are anxious to meet you.

Paula's New Ride

After my wife's Oldsmobile "quit" on her the morning of September 9 (my 51st birthday) and it wasn't worth repairing; we found ourselves looking for a new mode of transportation for her.

The day was spent looking for and test driving vehicles, and applying for a loan. We were lucky enough get approved very quickly and to find a 2011 Chevrolet Impala LS. It wasn't brand new but it only had just a little over 20,000 miles on it and it was within our price range.

We started our car shopping adventure just after 11AM that morning and were driving the new car off the lot by 5:30PM. The whole process was fast, and somewhat stressful and a bit surreal. God's hand had to be on us as we were fortunate to resolve our problem in only one day.

So now my wife owns the newest car she's ever owned. She really likes it and  with just a few minor adjustments the payment fits in our budget. Having to financially commit to paying a car payment so suddenly has changed some of our plans for the future (think having to cut back on vacation plans and Christmas gifts) but all in all things will be okay and I won't have to worry because my wife now has a more reliable vehicle.

So last year for my birthday Paula took me to Walt Disney World. This year on my birthday I bought her a car. 

Paula's "Present" Purchased On My Birthday



A Conversation Piece With A Connection

This past Sunday my sons and daughters-in-law came to the house to have dinner and celebrate my 51st birthday. We had steaks cooked on the grill, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, and sauted mushrooms.

I was blessed by my family with gifts. James and Brandi gave me a gift card to buy books on my Kindle. Michael and Heather gave me something had never seen before. A statue of a monkey holding a clock that is a perpetual calendar. Here's what it looks like:

A very unique gift is it not? They gave me the option of exchanging it but I said I wanted to keep it. I'm sure the kids had no idea about this but the monkey has a special connection for me. A connection to one of my early experiences with ventriloquism.

In July 2006 after I became interested in trying to do ventriloquism again I went to the Vent Haven Ventriloquist Convention in Fort Mitchell, Kentucky. This annual event is held in Fort Mitchell because that's where the Vent Haven Museum is located.

The mascot and logo of the convention is named "Jacko" a ventriloquist figure used by William S. Berger the museum's founder. Here's a picture of "Jacko".

Jacko is still on display at the Vent Haven Museum in Fort Mitchell. Visits are by appointment only May through September.

It was the Sunday after I attended 2 days of the conVENTion in 2006 that I made my adult ventriloquist debut during a morning worship service at my church.

So all those things and all those memories all come to mind when I see my new "brass monkey" calendar. It sits on a table in our living room just inside the front door; so it's bound to be noticed and asked about by future visitors. That will give me reason to tell them the story I just told you.

I really like my new organ grinder monkey clock/calendar (never ever thought I'd be typing those words on this blog). Thanks Heather and Michael.