A "Major Award" For A Poem

On the day before the start of the annual "A Christmas Story" movie marathon on cable TV where Darrin McGavin's character gushes over his leg lamp; I wanted to display my very own "major award."

While to the average reader the picture above might simply look like a typical electric blanket it's actually a very special one. It was presented to me yesterday by the managers of the call center where I work. 

The reason I was honored with this gift was because of the Christmas poem I'd written. Shortly after Thanksgiving I emailed to our entire call center a revised edition of the poem I had written last year. 

Just two days ago I received an email from a supervisor in our other call center in Minnesota. She said she had come across my poem and really liked it. She wanted my permission to share it with all who work, not only at the call center but, our corporate headquarters as well. I told her I'd be honored if she wanted to share because I could use the publicity. 

Soon I began to get emails from other company employees in Minnesota telling me how much they liked the poem. I was really flattered. Once again I the satisfaction that something humorous I created was getting accolades and recognition. 

At 2:45 I went on my afternoon break. When I came back one of the call center supervisors presented me with my "major award". 


He told me that my poem had come to the attention of some of the "higher ups" at the corporate headquarters. They liked it and appreciated my effort to promote a positive attitude in the call center. 


So there you have the story of my new electric blanket. With the start of winter this past week it probably wont' be long before Paula and I have the need to try using it. 


I'm also proud that something humorous I wrote has gotten a small degree of recognition. It's almost as rewarding as making children laugh with my ventriloquist friends. 


Now here for you to, hopefully, enjoy is the poem that has allowed me to share, along with Ralphie's Dad, the joy of knowing what it's like to use "mind power" to win a "major award." 


Merry Christmas To All. 

A Call From St. Nick-2011

By Ron Havens

T’was a week before Christmas and in the call center

Customers were calling with orders to enter

Supervisors were so busy

With the things they must do

CSRs helping callers

Who were backed up in queue.

“One Call Resolution” that was my style

While at the same time giving “Service With A Smile”

Then came a call that was special, I could tell

Instead of a “beep” I heard a jingle bell.

On my screen was a number

And I said “bless my soul!”

I could tell from the address

It was from the North Pole.

I tried not to be nervous

And took a brief pause

His first name was “Nick”

And his last name was “Claus”

He told me he was anxiously 

working on his holiday list

So I asked him politely, 

“How may I assist?”

He answered, “This time of year

 I try not to get manic.”

But production’s behind 

and I’m starting to panic.”

“It’s a situation I didn’t know how to handle.

But then I discovered your great shopping channel.”

My throat went dry and I gulped down some water

And I told the “big guy”, “I can help place your order.”

He bought Invictas, Ed Hardys, then Croton watches

Pam McCoy fur coats with black Beaver splotches

From rugs for the porch to prints for the wall

He ordered it, ordered it, ordered it all.

He ordered some Sensa. “I hear that works great”.

“Cookies with milk really puts on the weight.”

In a season where people believe reindeer can fly

This call was amazing. Two hours flew by.

He finally finished and said “this work exhausts me.”

He was quiet for a moment then asked “What will this cost me?”

I scrolled through the order just briefly glancing

Then I asked if wanted the “special financing.”

I gave him the total. What it was I forget.

But the number would rival the national debt.

He asked, “How soon an arrival date

 can you give me?”

I said, “It will all be on time for your special delivery.”

It was a great call and it felt like a dream.

I got to be part of the Santa Claus team.

I asked “Is there anything else I can do?’

He said, “Thank for the help, son. 

I’m glad I got you.”

I replied, “Well you’ve been kind to me 

for a long time, you know.”

He said, “It’s been my pleasure” 

with a big “Ho Ho Ho.”

Before he hung up he chuckled to me.

“It’s gonna be a Merry Christmas, thanks to your company.”

So this holiday season when you take lots of calls

And the customers are driving you 

straight up the walls.

Remember my encounter with the “Jolly Old Elf.”

‘Cause you just might get the chance 

to help Santa, yourself.

There's No Hippo Here....WHAAAAT!

Here is my favorite picture of the holiday season so far. It was taken by my friend, Jason Hale. On December 8th, I was the opening act for “North Pole’s #1 citizen” at our church’s annual “Dinner with Santa” event.

 The shot was taken in the middle of the 2nd segment of my show. Sally Ann Maher, the blond little girl puppet in the Christmas dress, had just finished lip syncing to the song “I Want A Hippopotamus for Christmas.” It was her way of telling everyone what she wanted Santa to bring her.

I was in the middle of explaining that the chances of seeing a hippo in Kentucky, outside of the Louisville zoo, were pretty remote. It was just then that the children watching began to loudly and insistently tell me that they had just seen a hippopotamus peek out from behind my open suitcase. I told them they were wrong when the moment captured in the picture. 

I was face to face with Peter Potamus; a hippo puppet who was sent by Santa as an early Christmas present for Sally Ann. While she doesn’t look very surprised I managed to come up with a convincing expression.
While the moment was whisked away into obscurity by the arrival of the guest of honor, Santa Claus, thanks to Jason I have it to add to my ventriloquist portfolio. It’s definitely one of my favorite pictures, not just this Christmas season, but of all those taken during 2011.

Paula In Candyland

One of the annual events of the Christmas season for my lovely wife, Paula, is the making of homemade candy. She makes two flavors of fudge, bon bons, rum balls, and chocolate covered cream de mint candies. We give the candies to family, friends, and fellow church members as Christmas gifts.

Last Friday night, for the first time I helped her make the confections. It was a fun experience and a great “team building” exercise.

In addition to the sweets I’ve already mentioned Paula ventured into new confectionary territory. 

She made peanut brittle especially for our daughter in law, Brandi. It was from an old family recipe. It’s made with Spanish peanuts, corn syrup, and baking soda. Like all her candy it turned out to be very good.

Making candy is the most recent in a series of culinary successes Paula has had in our kitchen this year. My last post was all about creativity and how it seeks its own level and wont’ be denied.

All though it always has, especially this year, Paula’s creativity had found its sweet spot in our kitchen. She has excelled in her cooking in 2011. Choosing my favorite of all the dishes she’s made this year is a very tough choice. But if I had to choose I would pick her slow cooked meatballs as my favorite meal and her low carb/low sugar pineapple upside down cake for my dessert.

Yes, I am a lucky man.  

Here are some pictures of the “Paula” who’s the cook in my kitchen from last Friday during her adventures in Candyland,

Preparing ingredients with her new food processor

Hand dipping Bon Bons one at a time

Giving the Cream De Mint candies their special shape

Putting the finished products into a storage container

The Flow Of Creativity

With less than two weeks left in 2011 I’m starting to review and sort the events of this calendar year and putting them away into one convenient mental time capsule.  

A lot of its content will be mostly memories of events, lists of experiences and relationships with people. But one significant thing I’m taking with me from 2011 is an educational experience. I’m not talking about a formal class taken at a learning institution. I’m refering to a life lesson I’ve been privileged to learn by the grace of God.

The course could be titled “Creativity 101.” The text book used in this lesson is called “Brain Storm: Unleashing Your Creative Self.  It’s written by Don Hahn, producer of such classic Disney films as “Beauty and The Beast” and “The Lion King.”

In the book, Hahn explores the emotions and mindsets connected with the creative process. He also shares ways of tapping into your own creative abilities. Then he explains how to set yourself up to live a life that fosters creativity.

He argues the fact that since man is made in God’s image, creativity is in our DNA. Just look around everything you see and even things you can’t are creations of the almighty. As the Son of God the gospel of John chapter 1 verse 4 speaks of Jesus’ creativity in this way: All things were made through Him and without Him was not anything made that has been made.” So being creative is an act of stewardship; using the talents that God has given you reflects His nature in you. I think that’s a lesson right there.

Another thing that Hahn writes about is something that I’ve discovered for myself in my life. Creativity is a flowing force. Just like river it takes the path of least resistance, branches out in many directions, and will not be denied. That’s the part I’ve discovered for myself.

While I had never realized it before it was brought to my attention in “Brain Storm” creativity is almost never exclusive to one part of a person’s life. If someone is creative they are creative in many ways. It’s like a well spring from inside the soul. Don’t mean to be over dramatic. I just think that’s the best way to explain it.

My personal “river” of creativity has many tributaries. I can think of at least ½ dozen ways my creativity branched out this year alone. And that’s just speaking in general. I could easily list how each of those areas branched out to other areas as well.

Last October I learned the 2^nd part of my life lesson. It had to do with limiting your creativity by worrying about the results.

After listening to the audio book version of Jeff Dunham’s biography at the end of the summer, I was both motivated and intimidated at the same time. I won’t take the time to go into the details about how that book affected me but let me just say that I really put on the pressure to get my ventriloquism career going again.  I put all my creative efforts into coming up with new sketches for my more popular puppets. The problem was I psyched myself out.

My creative process had become like getting ketchup out of a bottle. It took an unusual amount of effort to get even just a little result.  This may sound strange but that’s what I was going through.

Although part of me wanted to work on other things my ego kept me chained to the idea that I needed to make ventriloquism my only focus.  I experienced what could be categorized as a type of “writer’s block”.” Then in the middle of October several things happened that changed my focus.

First of all, Paula and I took a weekend vacation to the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee. We were only there for about a day and a half but we did a lot in that little time. When we came back I felt compelled to write a trip report. It took me about 2 weeks to finish it. The writing exercise took away my writer’s block. The dam I had built holding back my creativity was washed away. A flood of ideas and new projects got the “river” flowing again.   

About the time I finished my Smokey Mountains trip report I found out about the What Not Muppets available at Toys R Us (see my November 8 post). I began my 3^rd blog, “Getting To My Goal”, and started writing my 7^th Rewind Christmas program. In November I posted on this blog just as much as I did in September and October combined.

The lesson I learned is that, at least for me, creativity is very eclectic. I need to stay open to my inspirations and not hesitate to “go with the flow” when I come up with a good idea no matter what area of interest in might be in.

Creativity feeds on itself. If you are being creative in one area you may come up with an inspiration for another where you’ve been having some difficulty. To me that’s a life changing lesson.

Although I’ve learned a lot this year I’m not too sure I’ve graduated from the “Creativity 101” course that God is allowing to be part of my life. Now that I know there is a lot to more to the creative process than I ever thought there’s one thing about which I’m pretty certain. The river must be replenished at its source, the creative spirit is continually given to all of us by our Creator, and we must follow its course otherwise it will just become a dry bed of wasted ideas.

Dad's Picture In My Picture

As a follow up to yesterday I want to tell you the story of how I came to find the picture that was the inspiration for the post.

While looking through my collection of snapshots in search of a couple of pictures taken at Dorney Park back in the 70’s (the subject of a future post) I came across a shot of some things that belonged to my dad.

I had taken the picture back 2004 just after I brought things such as Dad’s coin holder, one of his old Bibles, a copy of a hand written invitation to my parent’s wedding, a Royal Rangers’ patch, and more that belonged to him back to Kentucky with me.

In May of that year I had flown north to help my family empty my mom’s house so it could be sold. Although he hadn’t lived in the house since 1999 my mom had kept a lot of my father’s things. This gave all of us a chance to pick and choose which of those things we wanted to preserve my dad’s memory.

I chose about 2 dozen things. In addition to those I’ve already mentioned was a one of his watches, a pair of glasses, and a personally autographed cartoon caricature of Ron Barry, a local radio personality from the 1970s.

But back to the story behind the rediscovery of the picture from yesterday’s post. Again I found the picture of the group of memorabilia in a box of snapshots. In that composite shot was the picture of Teressa and me on Christmas day 1991.

When I decided to write yesterday’s post, instead of looking for it in the box where I store all my pictures I looked in the container that holds the plastic bag full of my dad’s stuff.

That means it was part of my dad’s most prized possessions. The picture was special to him. It showed how much he missed Teressa, that he treasured spending Christmas with his family and that Christmas 1991 was especially memorable for him. The reason I mention this is that today would have been my father’s 75^th birthday.

The fact that a picture that was special to him inspired me to write one of the most emotional blog posts of the year helps me to feel a bit closer to him on what would have been a milestone occasion for him.

I still love and miss both my parents and my niece very much. I can’t wait until the day when God’s trumpet sounds and we are all together again as we “dwell in the house of The Lord forever”.  What a family reunion that will be. 

A Memorable Christmas Moment

For many of us of all the memories we have of our family Christmas memories are the usually the most vivid. The ghosts of our personal Christmas past return to us in various ways: joyous songs, special ornaments, a fully lit Christmas tree, TV specials and movies, holiday specific aromas, specialty foods, decorations and more. There are dozens of holiday trappings that bring back the memories of Christmas with family.

This year, for me, the most emotional memory was sparked by this picture of my niece, Teressa, and me in a clown mask. Other than the gift wrapping covering the bookcase behind us you really can't tell that this picture was taken on Christmas but it was; December 25, 1991 to be exact.

Seeing it again, this week, brought to mind the realization that this year will be the 20th anniversary of one of the most memorable Christmas days in our family's history. At the time we didn't know it but Christmas 1991 would be the last one we would be blessed enough to have Teressa with us. For those of you who don't know my niece's story let me share it with you. 

Teressa was my sister Peggy, and brother-in-law, Gene's youngest daughter. They became foster parents to Teressa when she was just an infant. Eventually they adopted her. 

Teressa's birth mother was an IV drug user and was HIV positive. Teressa was born with HIV. The virus was in her blood from the day she drew her first breath. This was back in the mid 80's when the terrible HIV epidemic was spreading rapidly. Very little was known about HIV and little, if any treatment was available. 

My sister and brother-in-law knew Teressa's eventual fate from the beginning. They knew there would more than likely be a time when the virus would become active and take my young niece's life. But because of the love they had for this child they chose to make her part of our family. They wanted to make sure "That There Baby" (a nickname Gene gave her when she was a toddler) would have the best life they could give her. I can assure you that they did just that. 

Here are the specific circumstances that surround this memorable picture. As you may be able to see from her position in the chair Teressa was a sick little girl that Christmas day. 

Three weeks earlier on Thanksgiving night she was spending the night at my sister Shari's house. She was going to help her decorate the Christmas tree the next day. That night Shari noticed that Teressa's had developed a twitch in her body. I don't remember specifically where it was but it was a matter of concern. 

Peggy and Gene took "T" to the hospital the next day. She was hospitalized in Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in Rahway, New Jersey about 90 minutes from where they lived. To my recollection she stayed there until the week before Christmas. Peggy stayed with her and Gene was there when he wasn't working.   

Now because it's been such a long time I don't remember exactly how it was decided but Teressa got to come home for Christmas so she could be with her family. 

As always Christmas Day was spent at my mom & dad's house. The whole family was there. Teressa couldn't walk so she had to be carried in from the car and set into the living room chair.                               

I wanted to make sure she fun that day so I tried to make her laugh as much as I could. Nothing was working very well. While walking past the upstairs room that used to be my bedroom when I lived with my parents, I spotted the clown mask I'm wearing in the picture. I had worn it as part of a Halloween costume a few years earlier.

I saw it and thought wearing it would give me chance to be silly and make Teressa smile. Luckily it worked. I don't remember exactly what I did but I do remember that it made her laugh. 

As I said that was a special Christmas day because less than a month later Teressa went to be with Jesus. To say that the loss of Teressa was devastating to every members of my family is a gross understatement. 

That special Christmas was 20 years ago this December. It's hard to believe that it's been that long.  And although a lot of the details of that day are lost to me now when I see this picture I do remember how much I loved my niece. I still miss her this time of the each year and so does everyone in my family.  

Vocational Anniversary

December 15th was the 3^rd anniversary of the day I started working at my current full time job. Although I have mentioned the name of the cable shopping channel I work for before; because of the internet communications policy that the company has implemented over the last year or so I won’t mention it directly.

I will however say that if you take the 3 letters of the TV network I mentioned in my last post and place them after the fact that you can SHOP from home you’ll get an idea of where I work. If that doesn’t make the connection for you just look back at my posts from December 2008.

Although this is my 3^rd full time job in a call center it’s much different than the other two. For all intents and purposes this job is like working in a retail store. The only differences are that you don’t have to really worry about shop lifting (just credit card fraud but that’s handled by a different department) and you have to deal with the incompetency of the delivery services (UPS, the US Postal Service, and FEDEX).

While the basics are about the same, my job today and the way our company handles customer service is almost totally different than when I started. Computer systems have been added and others have been changed. There have also been a lot of changes for me as an individual employee as well.

The first major change was moving from the small call center on the ground floor of our distribution warehouse to the newly built much larger call center on second floor. This change happened about 4 or 5 month after I started. It also meant a longer walk that involved going up a set of stairs. At the time it opened getting to the new call center was a real physical challenge for me. I had to take the stairs one at a time very slowly both up and down. These days every once in a while I take them 2 at a time but only on the way up.

I started out as just a part time 2^nd shift worker.  Quickly I went to full time after only 3 months of employment in February 2009. In September shortly after I got back from my weight loss surgery I got the opportunity to change to first shift (8AM-4:30PM). That was a major change. The hours meant that at least Paula and I would be on the same day time schedule even though my days off were Thursday and Friday.

The problem with that was that I wouldn’t be able to go to church on Sundays because I had to work. It would take me about a year and 11/2 to get that changed.

In June this year my days off changed to Sunday and Monday. That has really made a big difference in my life.

The other occupational hazard of the call center business is the high rate of turnover in employees. This means that as a psychological defense mechanism you don’t allow yourself to get too close to your co-workers. Because one day without notice they could be gone and more often than not without even a “good-bye”.  There have been a lot of people who have come and gone in the last 3 years. A few of them are still very memorable to me even though they’ve been gone for a while.

As of today, there are only 2 other members of my training class still working at the call center. Both of them have moved up to being lower level management. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I guess I’m just content being an Indian and not a chief.

So as I begin my 4^th year of employment in the call center I’m not exactly sure what the future holds. According to my supervisors and my performance reports I’m doing a good job. So I guess I’ll just keep on doing what I’m doing and change with the changes.

Reaching the three year mark puts this job 5^th in regard to length of service on the list of the 8 full time jobs I’ve had. By the middle of January 2013 it will move all the way up to #3. But only God knows what the future holds.

Last week management made a kind gesture toward me in recognition of my 3^rd anniversary. They gave me a nice pen and pencil set, a certificate from Wendy’s for a free Frosty, and a nice card.

Although, like any full time worker, I do get frustrated with my job at times I’m thankful that God has given me the blessing of a steady paycheck for the last 3 years.

So I go on to year #4. If the pattern of the last few years is any indication I’ll be getting a break with a temporary layoff sometime about March or April but until then I’ll just keep answering those calls and giving our customers “Service with a Smile.”